Secrets Behind the Burqa by Rosemary Sookhdeo

Author:Rosemary Sookhdeo [Sookhdeo, Rosemary]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: HRAM1 – Religious ethics, SOC028000 – SOCIAL SCIENCE / Women's Studies, REL037030 – RELIGION / Islam / Rituals & Practice, HRHC – Islamic worship, REL037000 – RELIGION / Islam / General, rites & ceremonies, TP090 – TOPICAL / Women's Interest, JFSJ1 – Gender studies: women, FAM031000 – FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Ethics & Morals, HRHP – Islamic life & practice, REL012130 – RELIGION / Christian Life / Women's Issues, JHBK – Sociology: family & relationships, HRH – Islam
Publisher: Isaac Publishing
Published: 2013-01-21T16:00:00+00:00

5 - Muslim Women in the West

Divorce and Muslim Women

All the women I interviewed knew of Muslim women who had been through divorce. Girls who are educated in Britain are now aware of their rights regarding divorce. This is resulting in a high divorce rate amongst Muslim young people, and in 75% of all Muslim divorces it is the women, both young and old, who are divorcing the men. If the woman initiates the divorce there is a one in ten chance that they will reconcile, whereas if it is the man who initiates the divorce, nine out of ten women reconcile.1

The high proportion of divorces initiated by Muslim women in the UK is notable, as in traditional Muslim societies it is difficult for women to obtain a divorce. In Muslim countries that have Islamic law a woman who divorces her husband must give up her children, who will then live with their father or his family. In the countries where this is applied, concern for her children can cause women to stay with their husbands, however violent, unfaithful or unreasonable they may be.

It is considered to be a very shameful action when a woman initiates a divorce, and it will affect the whole extended family. The wife will normally have to go back to her own family and is then an outcast in society. If she has no extended family she is very isolated and lost. The older woman may have poor English and be uneducated, and it can be very traumatic.

Reasons for Divorce

It is not considered shameful for a man to divorce, whatever the reason he gives. One legitimate reason considered for divorce is the failure of the wife to produce a boy. It is a common custom in Muslim societies for the husband to threaten divorce without really intending to go through with it. This is a means whereby the wife is kept under control.

The high divorce rate among Muslims in the UK is often as a result of an arranged or forced marriage and is most prevalent in the 20 to 30 age groups. The major reason that is put forward was that women wanted to choose their own marriage partners. In my interviews, one couple was on the verge of divorce. The girl born in the UK who had married a man from India discussed this with me in detail. She said that the cultural differences between them were too great and they had nothing in common. The marriage was just not working.

One of my interviews was with a 35 year-old Pakistani Muslim woman. Her husband came to Britain when he was seven years old and was 22 when they got married. She came from Lahore to marry him in an arranged marriage. He ran a shop with his brother one hundred miles from London, and returned home only at weekends. In 1991 her husband took her and their three children then aged eight, ten and twelve, two boys and a girl, back to Pakistan where they lived with his family.

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